"Friends are the family you choose"

“Friends are the family you choose,” is the quote printed on the tacky porcelain plaque that my roommates and I proudly displayed in the house we shared together throughout college. This was the perfect quote to represent our bond for one another. We did all sort of silly “pseudo family” things such as name ourselves the “106 family;” the number of the first on campus apartment we shared. When one member of our family graduated college, we modified our family name to “BAP” a merger of the remaining family members last’s names. We even adopted children into the relationship; our two beautiful sons, Bernard Diesel BAP and Vincent Malone BAP, were the perfect addition to our family.

I was truly blessed with perfect roommates throughout college. Now, don’t get me wrong here, like every family, we had our challenges. We survived many fights including a potential “break up” when one of my roommates threatened to send our children back to the humane society! We had to demonstrate forgiveness for “annoying” qualities such as stealing other member’s Cheeze-Its, clothes, and hair products. We developed acceptance for certain member’s belief that “you can never have enough marinades” even if they consume the storage capacity of the refrigerator. Finally, we had the opportunity to practice patience on a daily basis because some members could not leave the house without changing their clothes at least four times, and talking while dressing and packing for the day is not a strength many members of the family possessed.

Despite the challenges, my roommates provided me just what I needed to perform at my very best. As I grow older, I find myself reflecting on each of their qualities and recognize that they all have strengths that I lack. I realize that we survived on the strengths of other members and grew because of the weaknesses of other members; this is why and how we managed to live together for about three and half years. Not only did we not kill each other, we loved each other. My former roommates are patient, organized, detail-oriented, nurturing, loving, domestic, and motherly. I am blessed to have each of them in my life.

My love for my friends doesn’t end with my roommates. I choose friends who support my goals, dreams, aspirations, and fill my life in a positive way. I have one friend who I know I could call at any time of the day or night and she would come and do anything that I needed no matter how large. I have tested this theory on several occasions, and this particular friend passes every test. She is genuine, loving, outgoing, energetic, competitive, and driven; I am blessed to have her in my life.

I have crazy friends with outstanding senses of humor! One of my friends is a “pseudo stand-up comedian,” I cannot imagine the thoughts that process through her mind! She can crack jokes on the spot in seconds, and she keeps everyone around her laughing for hours. She is spontaneous, adventurous, earthly, and extremely liberal.

I once believed that I was off the close “friend market” because I couldn’t imagine that anyone could possibly measure up to my current friends; however, I was wrong. I recently started a new friendship with an amazing person. She is extremely bright, sophisticated, silly, cultural, compassionate, and fun to be around. She encourages me to take risks and challenges me to step outside of my comfort zone. I am grateful that she stepped into my life.

What’s my point? My point is simple; I love my friends deeply because they are the family that I chose. They challenge me to be a better person. They fill me with joy every time I am with them. They encourage me to reach for the stars and chase my dreams. They tell me when I cross the line, they yell at me when I do something stupid, and they pick me up when I am down.

My friends might have a thousand annoying qualities, but I choose to focus on the qualities that I love. It’s easy to dismantle a relationship with a friend when you focus on the things that they do wrong, the mistakes they make, the things that they do or don’t say that make you mad. However, when you choose to love you friends for who they are let yourself grow because of their gifts and strength, you are truly blessed.