"What do married people 'do?'"

“Kelley, so, what do married people ‘do?’” This is my million dollar question since James and I were married June 2008. My standard answer to the question is usually something silly like, “not much has changed since marriage….married life is pretty much the same as before except I have a new last name.” However, sometimes I find myself thinking during different segments of James and my day, “what if people were watching us right now…I wonder what they would think?”


Well, what the heck…here is a sneak preview into the evolution of the Strout family’s “married life” morning routine…enter at your own risk…

Since marriage I noticed that I need more time in the morning to prep for the day. I start work at 8am, and since I live directly across the street from my office, I could easily sleep in until 7- but I don’t. I wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30am every day.

I spend about an hour in our office teaching my online nutrition class at University of Phoenix. Around 6 I hear James’ first alarm buzz, on most mornings he presses “snooze” at least twice. Once he rolls out of bed, he busts into the office with some crazy dance move or boisterous morning greeting.

One day, I turned to greet him as I always do, and I noticed something surprisingly different: he had defined pectoral muscles. I was quite shocked by this change in body composition, so I asked him, “have you been like lifting weights or something??” His face light up like a Christmas tree; I could tell by his devilish smile that he was up to something. I couldn’t imagine when, where, or how he had added a weight lifting regime to his daily routine. His response was shocking: “I started doing 30 push-ups every morning for the past six weeks….I wake up and do a set of 10, I make half the bed and do 10 more, and I make the other half of the bed and do 10 more….”

I always knew that working out didn’t have to be as tedious and time consuming as everyone makes it out to be…but, I never thought to bust out morning push-ups in between my morning responsibilities. So, I took his lead! I started doing a set of 5 push-ups while my tea brewed; 7 while my oat meal cooked; and 10 while I waited for my oatmeal to cool. Now, I am up to 10: 10: 10! James is up to 20:20:20, and we stared tracking our reps and sets on a calendar in our bedroom. The best part, this small random act of fitness only takes about 3-5 minutes!

Our breakfast has also evolved since “married life.” Since late January, James and I committed to eating a diet primarily filled with super foods. In order to comply with our debt snowball, we had to get creative with our food to keep our food budget low. We settled on an amazingly affordable and delicious breakfast:

 1. ½ cup oatmeal

2. ½ cup frozen blueberries (thawed)

3. 1 tbsp walnuts

4. 1 tbsp almonds

5. 1 tbsp pumpkin seeds

James and I both take a few minutes every morning to snuggle with our babies. When we take the time to pet the kitties and listen to them purr, we feel peace and serenity. Duke is always happy, and he loves us unconditionally. His energized helicopter tail flips side-to-side and increases with speed the longer we pet him! His spunk and love of life helps us to start our day right. We love our animals; we hate to brag…but, we do believe that we have the best animals on earth!!

So, there you have it a typical morning for a married couple: wake up 2.5 hours before you need to, bust out push-ups, do a crazy dance for your spouse, eat a nutritious breakfast, mediate with peace furr balls, and energize with a giant mut…..

Life is who you are not where you are

James and I moved to Portland last December, and I am stunned by the “Bangor jokes” I encounter daily: I have heard, “we need to get you out of Bangor” [spoken in a hick-like accent] at least 50 times in the past year! Of course, the remakes do not offend me; I understand that the jokesters remarks are harmless, and most of the time I will join the fun!

James and I visited home twice in the past month: once to surprise my little sister at her final middle school basketball game, and once to visit James’ father who fell ill and went into the hospital unexpectedly. While we were home traveling around the quaint rural towns: Eddington, Glenburn, Orrington, and good old Bangah, James and I confirmed that life is who you are not where you are.

In spite of fear and worry for James’ father medical condition and the stress involved in trying to visit four sets of divorced parents, grandparents, and friends, we heard two remarkable and inspirational stories that made us both proud to be born in the quaint “hick-like” town of Bangor, ME!

I visited the Atkinson family during my first trip home; I always love spending time at their rustic Maine home, they make me feel like part of their family- and trust me, with five children of their own, I don’t think they need to take in anymore! I was learning to sew with Candace, and she started showing me exquisite quilts that she, Alyssa, and a group of local voluteers made for wounded soldiers. The quilts were full of detail, and I could see the kindness and pride in her face as she displayed the masterpieces! Little did I know, she was a novice quilter.

Her story is truly inspirational. Apparently, she and Steve were enjoying a conference in Washington DC as part of the requirement for Steve’s new promotion as a General. Candace saw a quilt display booth and felt drawn to talk to the person manning the booth. The person represented a group called, “Quilts of Valor” a volunteer-based organization that make quilts for soldiers to provide tangible reminders that their wartime service, sacrifice, and valor are not forgotten. Candace felt inspired to participate even though she had little to no quilting experience.

She returned home to good old Bangor, ME and got right to work! As she and her daughter, Alyssa, started sewing away, and she thought to herself, “I bet others might be interested in helping this amazing cause.” So she organized a “Quilts of Valor” booth at the Bangor Air National Guard Family Day event. Her instinct was dead on, in less than a couple of hours, she had a $1000 donation, a volunteer long-armer, a Wednesday night quilting group, and a feature story in the December 2009 Edition of the Bangor Metro!

I think the most moving piece of this story is that she had little to no quilting experience, yet she let her heart lead her path. She used her time and talents to show her appreciation for our nation’s soldiers who risk their lives daily so that we can live in peace and freedom, and she also started a quilting group to help others learn to quilt so that they could give back to our fallen soldiers. As she was sharing her story with me, chills of inspiration ran down my spine.

The inspiration doesn’t end with Candace! Last weekend, James and I enjoyed breakfast with his Mother at a diner that is the epitome of hick- Ron’s Diner in Brewer, ME. The food is delicious, and the service is exceptional! My Mother-in-Law loves leaving the sweet elderly waitress $20 tips- just because! :)

My Mother-in-Law sings in a group named, The New Renaissance Singers- a local community chorus in Bangor. The group “gets by” financially- they can pay their bills and save a little for a rainy day. However, my Mother-in-Law wanted the group to give back to the community and provide a financial donation to another local community singing group. She really pushed the idea, and like any monetary debate, critics worry about the implications associated with donating money. She did not give up, and the group followed her lead!

The group decided to make a cash donation The Bangor Area Children’s Choir . Children who sing in the choir are required to pay certain dues, and The New Renaissance Singers felt that their financial contribution could support less-financially fortunate children.

The small donation generated a positive ripple effect for The New Renaissance Singers! Their last concert yielded the highest ticket sales in history, they received a half-page of FREE advertisement, and they were acknowledged in the Bangor Area Children’s Choir program. To add to the joy, The New Renaissance Singers and The Bangor Area Children’s Choir are planning a joint venture singing event!

We learn as children, “do good and good will come,” and I have witnessed the positive outcomes of good deeds from my family and friends in Bangor. The stories helped me to get out of my own head and thoughts and appreciate the beauty of helping random strangers. I learned that life truly is who you are not where you are.

"Don't tempt f8 that txt can w8"

“Don’t temp f8 that txt can w8” is the tag line for Oprah Winfrey’s new campaign against cell phone use while driving. I am a faithful Oprah fan, and I religiously watch most shows, thanks to my DVR! Recently, the chaos of my life has prevented me from obtaining my daily dose of “O.” This weekend, I was fortunate enough to catch up on six episodes. I consider myself blessed, since Oprah’s episode about texting and cell phone use while driving was one of the most eye opening, jaw dropping, and life saving episodes I have ever watched.

According to researchers, drivers who text while driving are 8 times more likely to crash and drivers who talk on the phone while driving are 4 times more likely to crash- the same statistic as an intoxicated driver. Interestingly, headsets and blue tooth devices did not decrease the likelihood of crash for drivers talking while driving. The show revealed true stories of innocent people killed as a result of a motorist texting or talking on the phone while driving: children, mothers, best friends, uncles, aunts all victims of this insane obsession.

As I watched the episode, I reflected on my own habits in the car. I constantly use my car as a time to catch up with my family and friends, and I have scared myself many times in near miss accidents as a result of my obsession of talking while driving. Obviously, I either did not have enough “near miss” events, or I am stupid because until watching Oprah’s show I showed no sign of boycotting my cell phone use in my car.

I have lived with the mantra, “I can successfully multitask and talk on the phone while driving, it’s all the other motorists that can’t.” My daily morning commute fuels my fire against “everyone else who has a cell phone in the car problem.” I walk to work, and on average, I wait in a cross walk for at least 10 minutes before a driver recognizes my presence and allows me to cross. You may ask, “why aren’t the drivers stopping for you? After all, it is the law to stop for pedestrians standing in a cross walk. The answer is simple: no one sees me! Every three out of four drivers, on average, is engrossed in a cell phone conversation at seven in the morning- too distracted to see a freezing cold pedestrian patiently waiting to cross the street.

My daily fear is that a distracted driver will smear me to the pavement during my morning commute; however, despite my daily observation drivers distracted by thei cell phones , I continue to join in the fun and chat while driving. Not anymore, as of Saturday February 6, 2010, I took the Oprah pledge and made my car a “NO PHONE ZONE.” I thought about how I would continue to live if I unintentionally killed an innocent person because of something as stupid as talking on the phone while driving, and I couldn't live with the thought. I would never drink and drive, so if they are equally dangerous, why would I continue to talk and drive?

I encourage all of you to sign Oprah’s “NO PHONE ZONE PLEDGE.” Could you imagine taking the life of someone else because of a silly and 100% preventable behavior?
Sign the pledge here: http://www.oprah.com/questionaire/ipledge.html?id=4